


It's A Broken Message

by Unformal_Sorrelle



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren tends to pick up the wrong point, Drama, Family, Gen, Han has to put up with too much, Humor, Leia is awesome, Luke has problems teaching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-14 15:52:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5749012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unformal_Sorrelle/pseuds/Unformal_Sorrelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben saw exactly what his mother would do for what she believed in. It was his most important lesson.<br/>He learned so much growing up that Snoke barely had anymore to teach him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Knowledge and Comprehension

“Are you quite sure there should be little ears listening in?” The ambassador of Minhjal was not entirely subtle at her gesture at Ben. Leia didn’t change her expression but she still had to swallow her irritation. This wasn’t new. Even her regular council members got squeamish when Ben was around and they started talking about bloodshed.

“I think that we need to continue our discussion about what’s happening on Felur.” Leia gave a polite but firm smile.

“But… it’s genocide.” The ambassador’s voice dropped and gave Ben a worried look.

“Yes, and we need to come up with a plan to stop it. Ambassador Jiylaing mentioned that the enemies force is-“

“He’s only a child,” said the scandalized ambassador, “I’m really not comfortable with him hearing this.”

Leia sighed and tried to keep it at that. She had grown up on the knee of Bail Organa during the Empire. She’d turned out ok. She would be a hypocrite to shield her own son from reality. Unfortunately there were many cultures that did not necessarily agree.

Ackbar had advised her to find a child minder. He felt that even if it wasn’t Ben’s fault that he was a distraction, Leia should just accept that meetings would go smoother without him. She had spent her whole life surrounded by politics and leaders. She knew just how reasonable they all were. So she smiled politely, or not so politely, and kept her son with her. She hadn’t asked for a single thing for her life’s devotion of taking down the Empire. Leia figured it was more than fair that she took this one thing.

Ben needed to learn how to build.

Leia knew how to destroy. She knew how to rip and tear a regime down. That was her childhood, her table, her strength. She needed better for Ben. Leia didn’t know if he’d follow her path or blaze his own, but she wanted him to know how to make things better.

She was familiar with teeth and military. She wanted him to know diplomacy and justice. Sometimes that came with ugliness. That just meant there was something worth protecting.

Leia didn’t say any of this of course. She’d give explanations when appropriate but this didn’t need it. Instead she put on her best mask and showed her son how to use his words.

…

Ben’s first memories were of the Force.

He could sense the light of his mother, always warm and always close. She felt a lot like Uncle Luke, both of them twin suns among the sparks of the others. He’d always felt safe in their presences.

His father was a more like the wiring of a ship. His Force was small enough to forget, almost unnoticeable. That didn’t mean that Ben wasn’t attuned to it, or that it was useless. There was a reason why he trusted his father’s instincts. Although there wasn’t a lot of power, his Force was efficient and nothing was wasted.

Uncle Chewie was more like other people. His Force presence was just that of his life, a friendly glowing ember.

He could also feel the Force wrapped around himself. He claimed the light. He held it around himself like a blanket and pictured himself as a star like his mother. It was his. He thought he would never let it go.

Ben’s next memories were at his mother’s table. He sat quietly on her lap as she debated for the galaxy. To be honest, most of this time was spent napping.

When he wasn’t using the council as a lullaby, he’d watch the faces. He’d mimic the polite smiles and irritated grimaces. He noticed how one man would bite his lip before he gave into Ben’s mother’s demands. He saw the smirk that meant his mother would sigh and her Force would lash out. He learned what his mother would do for the next few days so she’d be in control again.

He saw exactly what his mother would do for what she believed in. It was his most important lesson.

…

“Leia!” Han shouted from clear across the house. He knew his wife could hear him.

“What?” Leia huffed as she hurried over, “Is there anything wrong.”

“This is your fault, your worship!” He pointed an accusing finger at her.

Leia scoffed and raised an eyebrow, “My fault?”

Han pointed at their toddler who was sitting peacefully on the floor. Ben grinned.

“He-“ Han grumbled.

“Aggressive negotiations!” Their son interrupted with a shriek. Han sighed and tried not to smile. This was serious.

Leia beamed.

“Good job, Ben! Your first words, I’m so proud of you!” She picked him up and bounced him happily. He began to chuckle and giggled when she tickled his toes.

“Very proud!” Han put in because he was a softie. He still felt a little disgruntled. “Those words are even bigger than you.”

Leia gave him a sideways glance, “Don’t tell me that you’re jealous that he knows bigger words than you do. ‘Cause he’s so smart!” She punctuated it with kissing Ben’s forehead.

“Aggressive negotiations…” Han sighed. Ben eagerly repeated it and Han ruffled his son’s hair. “You know I was hoping for something like ‘Dada’ or something.”

“Why?” Leia shifted her weight, “Mine was ‘retain control of the senate.’”

“No, it wasn’t.” Han shook his head. With horror, he winced as his wife kept looking at him straight on. “You know what? I just might think you’re being serious.”

She and Ben chuckled. Han didn’t.

…

Leia was being entirely serious. The only problem was that it wasn’t quite the truth. Her first words were ‘Darth Vader’ in the shocked tone that everyone used when he’d just taken out another rebel fleet. It was understandable why Bail Organa had never told her that.

…

As Ben got older he started hearing things from the Force as well. It wasn’t much when he was young but sometimes people would just think so loudly. Sitting at his mother’s table became even more of an education.

He tried to listen to his mother’s thoughts but her sun of Force made them hot and untouchable. Even if she yelled he’d never make out any words.

His father was a different story. It was as if he couldn’t stop projecting.

Uncle Luke was like Mother, but gentler. His uncle would sometimes actually send thoughts through the Force to him after Ben mentioned it. Always little things, hardly ever anything Luke couldn’t have said out loud. But Ben appreciated his uncle’s kindness.

He’d never been able to make any of Uncle Chewie’s thoughts either. It didn’t matter since Uncle Chewie was fairly straightforward. Ben knew he’d say what he thought. He trusted Uncle Chewie.

He wished that he was better at sensing emotions. His family could do it. His mother would say that she sensed he was troubled, and Uncle Luke could do the same. He tried to explain how his listening was different but the words never came. Most of what he got were words, and words were complex. It wasn’t like Uncle Luke who could just tell if someone was angry or sad or happy. Ben tended to get a lot of the why but not the what.

He would always be better at listening to people’s minds than understanding them.

…

Leia almost left her brother asleep on the couch. He looked so exhausted she barely had the heart to wake him. Almost. Barely.

Luke groaned as he blinked open his eyes. Leia definitely felt bad now. The shadows under his eyes were darker than her’s.

“Huhhh, Leia? Wha?”

“It’s ok, Luke. You can go back to sleep.”

Luke yawned and stared at her bleary eyed. He stretched his arms in front of him. He looked slightly alive now.

“No, you need to talk to me. I can tell.” He meant to give her a look that was supposed to hint at the Force but it was a little too pathetic to really count. Leia pretended he didn’t look like a zombie and shrugged.

“I can wait.”

“Leia, what is it?” He pulled himself up to a sitting position and Leia had to smile. Her brother was too nice for her. She probably would have beat him with a pillow if he’d woken her up like this. Although, knowing Luke he sensed enough of her problem to take it seriously even this late at night. “And… why am I on your couch?” He looked so befuddled.

“You crashed there after dinner.” Leia informed him. “Is there a reason why you’ve stopped sleeping regularly?”

Luke shrugged and looked down. His eyes swept around the sides of the room. He breathed in and then out.

“I still don’t know how to reform the Jedi Order.” Luke admitted, “I’ve been trying for years but I don’t know how I’m suppose to do it. I’m not even sure I want to do it…”

Leia gave him a concerned look, “But you’ve been working on it since we took down the Empire, Luke. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to bring the Jedi back, and I like teaching. It’s just… You’re actually making a difference. I miss us working together. I miss flying. Instead I feel like I’ve been bungling up the whole Jedi thing for everyone in the future. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I don’t know the first thing about being a Jedi. I’ve gotten most of my lessons from ghosts!”

“Luke…” Leia looked her twin in his eyes, “You are the most Jedi of Jedi that I know.”

“I’m the only Jedi you know.”

“I think you’re doing as much as you can. You’ve actually found some Force Sensitives and you’re helping them a lot. Sometimes I wish that I had some time for you to train me a little more.”

“I wish you could help me.” Luke suddenly looked apologetic, “Well, you do help as much as you can. Without your help with the New Republic none of us would be anywhere.”

“Luke, it’s alright. I understand.” Perhaps in another universe they would have both been Jedi together. She would know just as much as he did and they would help each other restore the Order of the past. But in this universe she had different duties, and Luke had to carry it all himself. “You can only do so much.”

“Is that enough?” Luke must have been tired because Leia was sensing his anxiety. Her poor brother tried his hardest to keep himself mellow.

“Yes.” Leia nodded, “It’s all you can do. It’s not your fault the Jedi fell in the first place.” Luke was going back to looking guilty so she stepped up her game, “I’m counting on you. Ben is counting on you.”

Luke blinked, looking more awake then she’d seen him in a while. “Ben?”

“I need you to teach him, Luke. I sense something coming.”

“You sense- what?!”

“Whatever it is, it’s far, far away. I just want to make sure Ben is prepared.” Leia took her brother’s hand, “Please.”

“Of course,” Luke agreed, “But I’m surprised Han would agree to this.”

Leia laughed and Luke joined in. Oh, Han was fine with the Force now. He’d been through too much. That didn’t stop him from calling it a bunch of mumbo jumbo regardless.

“It’s just a few lessons while you’re on planet. I’m not sending him away, not yet.”

“I’ll do as much as I can, Leia.” Luke promised, “You know, if you ever need me I’ll be there for you- You, Ben, Han, Chewie… We’re all a family.”

Leia smiled at that heartwarming sentiment. Years ago she would have never imagined finding such a family. Of course, Luke would always be there. He wasn’t the type to run off.

…

She turned up the heat after that. The slight chill was otherwise ignored.

…

Ben stood next to his mother as they looked on at the Holo. Leia bit her lip and Ben could feel the Force around her tremble. He looked around the round projector table, searching the familiar faces.

No one spoke but the Force was screaming.

The pain sunk into him. He wanted to curl up in a ball and put his hands over his ears. Too bad that wouldn’t help.

Then his mother squared her shoulders and spoke on the radio.

“Squadron Two? Do you copy?”

“Yes ma’am. Do you want us to retreat?” Ben knew that voice. He was a nice pilot. He kept candy in his pockets and shared.

All eyes were on his mother, “No. You need to stay on target.”

“Ma’am, with all due respect, Squadron One was obliterated out there. If we continue the mission then we’ll join them.”

“If we loose this planet then half of our medical supplies are gone. We need to win this one. Try approaching from the left flank. Their formation doesn’t cover that area as well. If you take out the-“

Ben watched as everyone sat spellbound at his mother’s words. Even the Force stilled at her strategy. By the time she got to the pep talk even Ben felt like he was essential to the survival of the galaxy.

“Affirmative, ma’am!” The pilot had a new fire to his voice.

It was only then when Ben realized that his mother was the only one who wasn’t assured that this would work. Oh, she still appeared to be inspirational and determined, but Ben could glimpse the slightest emotion in the Force. She was terrified.

“Good luck!” She smiled and everyone cheered,

“Anything for you sweetheart.” Ben’s father’s voice crackled over the radio. It was then he remembered Dad and Chewie were out with that squadron.

“I know.” His mother whispered.

…

“How could you do that?” Ben looked up at her with his curious eyes. Oh, her watchful child.

“I had to.”

“How, though?”

“It was the right thing to do.”

He grimaced in thought and Leia felt a tingle up her spine.

“Dad could have died.”

“The right thing,” Leia paused, “It’s always harder. There will always be easier paths. It would be easier to forget that this is bigger than us. It would be easier to not have faith in your father’s abilities. It would be so much easier if all I needed to protect was our family, but it wouldn’t be the right thing. We all make our own choices, and it’s important to make sure that they’re the right ones.”

“But…”

“I will always protect you,” Leia promised, giving her son a hug, “But you know that I am responsible for a lot of people in the galaxy. They trust me to do the right thing, and I can’t let them down. If that means taking the hard path, so be it.”

“The hard path,” he repeated gravely.

…

Luke had a few students. It was amazing to him that he had been able to track down so many Force Sensitives. What was not amazing was the progress they had made. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing wrong since they were having such trouble using the Force. He’d struggled too at first but not like this! Maybe he needed to find some more course material? What if he tracked down an old Jedi temple? Surely it’d have some suggestions at how to not entirely fail at being a Jedi master?

What was he missing? Hmm…

“Close your eyes.” He commanded his students calmly. He did know Jedi were supposed to be calm. He at least had that down. “Feel the Force around you.”

“Luuuuuke, we’ve already done this!” The youngest student whined and Luke tried not to feel so defensive.

“Feel the Force.” Luke repeated. He did his best to channel old Ben Kenobi. “Can you sense it?”

The class murmured an affirmative. They’d gotten that far at least.

He put himself back in the mindset he had been in when he had first gotten his training. He’d been excited, yes. More than a little skeptical, absolutely. But, he had really wanted to succeed at being a Jedi. He’d used everything he had when he was starting out, and his class needed to learn how do do that too.

“Now focus on the rock. You have to want to move it. Use your desire, follow it. You have to really want the rock to move. Focus on it. Feel how much you’d love for it to move. Think about your moment of triumph when you finally get it right. Use that emotion.”

Rocks started flying and Luke smiled. Maybe he could actually do this!

…

Leia was more than a little surprised to see Luke on the couch again. He wasn’t expected to be on planet for weeks! She’d sensed a shock from him but he hadn’t seemed like he was in danger.

“I’m wondering if I should even ask.” Leia glanced at him casually.

“I made a mistake.” Luke’s usually smile of sunshine was suspiciously missing. In fact her brother looked slightly traumatized.

“Who do I need to shoot?”

“Me.” Luke croaked.

“It can’t be that bad.”

“I taught my class the way of the Sith.”

Leia’s eyes widened. What.

She absently wondered if she needed to hold an intervention to drag her brother back to the light side. For the first time she was glad the Jedi were gone. She had heard about their Sith hunting habits and it’d be far easier to protect Luke from space wizards when they didn’t exist.

Then she looked at him with the her limited grasp of Force and he… was still Luke. Nothing but light and goodness.

“You’re a little nice to be a Sith Lord.” She shot back skeptically.

“Jedi don’t use emotions.” Luke seemed to draw in on himself, “I knew this. I knew it! But… I thought that as long as it wasn’t anger or fear or something that it would be ok. Love and happiness seemed harmless enough…”

Leia took a deep breath. This was news to her.

“I find that hard to believe. What’s so dangerous about love?”

“It leads to fear, and fear leads to anger.” Luke sounded like he was quoting someone. “I just forgot… I’ve used emotion when I’ve needed to and I just thought it would help my students.”

“You’ll fix it.” Leia eventually said. She didn’t know what else to really say. No love? That was really odd. Suspicious in fact.

“I learned the Jedi code.” Luke said, “I was told to understand it before I restart the reign of the Sith.”

“What is it?”

“There is no emotion, there is peace.  
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.  
There is no passion, there is serenity.  
There is no chaos, there is harmony.  
There is no death, there is the Force.” Luke recited glumly, “Old Ben or Yoda could have told me this before.”

Leia really thought about the words. She rolled them around on her tongue. She tested them with her spirit. It was clear that they weren’t her words.

“That’s why you’re the Jedi…” She mused, a grim smile faint on her lips.

“Leia?”

She raised an eyebrow and because she felt young she cocked her hip. She’d let Luke come to it. The Jedi had obviously never lead a proper rebellion.

They did not know the emotion that drove the young men and women to lay down their lives for a chance at justice. They did not know the ignorance that the leaders suffered as they tried to make do with limited intelligence on the enemy. They somehow would not have approved of the passion that kept everyone from letting their oppressors walk over them, the passion that let them fight. Could they have survived the chaos of a civil war? Would they have argued that there wasn’t death when Alderaan was destroyed?

She had always wondered why Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda had trained Luke instead of her. After all, she’d grown up fighting and was all too familiar with the horrors of war when Luke had merely been a farmboy. Why choose him to be the warrior?

  
Now it was clear. She’d never actually been Jedi material.

She was proud of her emotion. She admitted her ignorance. No one could deny that she wasn’t passionate. Leia knew chaos because there had never been peace. She fought death on a daily basis.

Luke still didn’t understand but that was ok. He was the Jedi.

“Get some sleep,” she ordered. “You look worse than Lazerbrain in the mornings. We’ll work this out later. Love can’t be all that bad. It’s not like the old Order was perfect either- I don’t think anything that bans love was so great anyway.”

She needed some time herself. It wouldn’t do for her to snark at how unrealistic the Jedi tenants were. She really didn’t want to consider what she was if she couldn’t be a Jedi.

…

Ben was growing frustrated with the Force. He could hear it, as always. He could feel it all around. Why was using it so difficult?

“Uncle Luke, I am trying!” The little boy huffed. His hand was outstretched as he tried to pick up the piece of candy on the ground before him. He was getting a little concerned that the sweet was going to melt in the heat of the sun before he could even pick it up.

“Do or do not, there is not try.” Luke said sagely.

“That still doesn’t make sense.” Ben pointed a finger at his uncle in accusation. Luke shrugged and didn’t argue. That was the weird thing about his uncle- Luke wasn’t much for arguing. He never yelled like his parents did or debated with doublespeak like the diplomats and councils. In short, he was weird.

“Don’t get mad at it.” Luke advised, “Just feel the Force. Trust it.”

Ben felt the Force. That didn’t mean that it was doing what it was supposed to. He bit his lip and tried again. Not ‘did’ again, because he still maintained there was a try. He focused on the power around him, the glorious light that made his soul sing. He took a deep breath and concentrated. He loved the Force around him.

When he opened his eyes the candy was in his palm.

…

Leia was looking through the newest treaty when her son came into the room. Her office was not as clean as it usually was and he probably could have made a fort with all the clutter that had piled up. It had been a busy month and Leia had been trying to hang onto everything she had helped to build. Some new player had entered the field and Leia didn’t like it one bit.

“Mother,” Ben asked. Leia could tell he was thinking his serious thoughts again with the formality. She was only ‘Mother’ when he was trying to be all grown up. “Is there going to be a war?”

Leia frowned, wishing that everything wasn’t coming apart. The Empire had left such a shadow. Did it really have to mess with her son’s life? Luckily there hadn’t been a proper war- skirmishes and battles yes- but not war. To be honest, even if the worst happened it still wouldn’t be technically a ‘war,’ as that would imply at least two sovereign bodies of government. The shambles she fought weren’t exactly what you would call organized.

Technicalities aside, she still needed an answer for Ben.

“I don’t know.” Leia went with the truth. She never lied to Ben. “I want to see if we can still negotiate peacefully but it’s very possible that diplomacy is not going to work.”

Ben sighed and his eyes wandered around the room. He especially looked at her desk, full of all sorts of things. Leia looked her son in his eyes.

“Why do you ask, Ben?”

“You’re always talking about how we’re working for peace and order. I don’t understand why we fight so much. Can’t we just leave everyone alone?”

Ah. Well, Leia cleared her throat, she should have expected this earlier.

“Sometimes you have to fight. Sometimes there isn’t a way for peace without war.”

“That’s stupid.” Ben huffed, rolling his eyes. Leia ruffled his hair indulgently.

“I agree, but it’s just how things are, Ben. We’re rather fortunate that we have power, that we can fight. There are some people out there who don’t have the power to fight when other people try to kill them. It’s our job to protect those people.” She put it as simply as she could, “Our galaxy needs order, Ben. It’s just going to take a long time to rebuild everything, and sometimes that means a battle or so.”

“You mean killing people.” His young voice rose in pitch.

“Sometimes,” Leia allowed, “If it means they don’t get the chance to do even more damage.”

“What about Uncle Luke?”

“What about him?”

“Does he kill people?” Ben asked disbelievingly. Leia had to stop from smiling at his view of her brother. She understood of course. Luke could seem like the very paragon of virtue, and he certainly tried to teach it. That being said, there was a thing called ‘tact.’

“I think that’s something you need to ask him.” Leia tried not to say it so curtly but she knew she’d made a misstep. Being sure to soften her voice this time, she added, “But I think you’ve heard enough of the family stories.”

Ben narrowed his eyes, making his face screw up in some kind of emotion. Annoyance, perhaps? Leia shrugged it off.

…

Something that Han did not like in regards to fatherhood were Ben’s tantrums. Oh, Han knew that he and Leia were not the best examples at being rational human beings, but at least they just tended to yell at each other. Ben had the bad habit of throwing things. Of he’d full on destroy things. He had certainly inherited the family temper…

Of course he’d never pull that crud on Leia. Oh no. He had to save it all for his father.

Han just didn’t know how to handle it. He’d tried staying calm- well, as calm as he could be given the circumstances. He’d given in to shouting before- Ben just got louder. Han had even tried the silent treatment. To be honest, his best bet was threatening to get Leia, not that Han wanted to admit that.

However, Leia was currently off planet and not available.

Sithspit.

“I said no, Ben!”

“Mom would let me go!”

“You’re grounded, Ben. You don’t get to go anywhere.” Han took a deep breath and brushed his hair back from his forehead. “That’s what grounded means.”

“You don’t understand!” Ben yelled, stomping his foot. The furniture started shaking. Oh, why did his son have to have the Force? At least the living room didn’t have anything too breakable… “Everyone else is going.”

“Not everyone else broke the toaster last week.” Han deadpanned.

“I didn’t mean too. You don’t get to… jail me for an accident!”

Now, Han could have pointed out that Ben had not only thrown the toaster on the ground, stomped it with his foot, and then somehow exploded it with Force. He could have asked how that possibly could have been an accident, especially since it was in the middle of yet another fight. But the toaster wasn’t the point.

“Kid, I said you couldn’t go. So you can’t. Tough luck.”

“AUUUUGH!!!”

Han winced as on of Leia’s knickknacks went flying. Ok, he’d tried being nice and just got more property damage. Where was someone who actually knew how to handle kids when you needed them?

“You stop that right this minute, young man!”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do!”

“I am your father, so yes, I do get to tell you exactly what to do. Go to your room!” Han bellowed with a glare. Ben rolled his eyes, quipped a few arguments, and then stomped off. Hopefully any further destruction would be safely contained.

Han sighed again. He tried not to feel bad. He was trying to get through to him. He really was. Han practically collapsed on their couch and dramatically smacked his head backwards. When would Leia be back again?

Seconds after a slammed door, music started vibrating the house.

_‘Wake me up! (Wake me up inside)’_

Han shook his head and lasted about five seconds before yelling at his son to turn his music down.

…  
Luke never talked much about his father to Ben. Leia wasn’t exactly ever fond of the reminder that Darth Vader was her father too, and she certainly didn’t want Ben labeled as Darth Vader’s grandson. He had enough to live with as it was. He was General Organa’s son. The legendary smuggler and war hero’s son. He was the last trained Jedi’s nephew. He had the Force. Luke got why Ben didn’t need to deal with Anakin Skywalker as well.

Luke had told him enough- just enough so that it wasn’t a secret. Even Leia didn’t object to the basic facts. Ben got some of the stories, just no meat.

Yes, Ben, Uncle Luke got his hand cut off by his own father. Aren't you glad that your dad never had a lightsaber?

He tried to portray him fairly. He glossed over that good and the bad. Luke tried to avoid saying what he himself felt about his father because that was usually the stuff Leia objected too. Luke understood his sisters feelings, he really tried to respect them. Luke knew that their father wasn’t a great heroic figure. He had done a lot of terrible things, especially to Leia. He wasn’t sure how much of the complexity actually came through to Ben.

He’d mentioned how Ben’s grandfather ultimately freed everyone from the tyranny of the Empire but didn’t elaborate in detail. Perhaps when he was older Luke would tell him everything.

Luke was trying to meditate on his sister’s couch again when a small hand shook him out of concentration.

“Hey, Uncle Luke?” Ben was holding a piece of flimsiplast, “You need to help me with something.”

“Homework?” Luke guessed at his nephew’s dark expression,

“I need to make a family tree but Mom is busy.” Ben huffed, “Dad’s not being cooperative either. I don’t even know if he has any family.”

“Yeeeah…” Luke shrugged. That was the trouble with being orphaned at a young age. “But I’ll help you with mine.”

“What if he’s hiding something?” Ben narrowed his eyes.

“Do you really think so?”

“No…” Ben looked down, “But I wish he was so that this wasn’t half empty. I’m gonna fail this.”

“Let’s just fill in what we can.” Luke really hoped that Ben’s teacher would be understanding. Why anyone would do a family tree project after so much of the last few generations being at war Luke couldn’t guess. “What do you have so far?”

“Well, you and Mom are twins. Your father was Darth Vader. Who was grandma?”

“Write ‘Anakin Skywalker’ instead,” Luke pointed to his nephew’s firm print. He thought for a moment, he had actually managed to get his mother’s identity from the Force ghosts. “My mother was Padmé Naberrie.”

Ben dutifully wrote it down. He was a slow writer, but he tended not to make mistakes.

“What about her family?”

“I don’t know.” Luke admitted,

“What about Vader’s family?”

“His mother was Shmi Skywalker.” Luke remembered the gravestone at the farm. Uncle Owen would actually talk about Grandma Shmi, even when he wouldn’t say a word about Luke’s father. “She married Cliegg Lars, and his son was Uncle Owen.”

“So Cliegg was Vader’s father.”

“No,” Luke admitted, “My father… didn’t have a father.”

Luke could feel his nephew’s irritation. Luke completely understood. Their family was weird.

“Another unknown…” Ben looked at the sparse family tree critically. It was distressingly bare. Luke shifted positions awkwardly.

“Actually, I mean he didn’t have a father. It’s really strange, but, I suppose the closest thing would be the Force.” Luke shrunk from Ben’s disbelieving look. It wasn’t Luke’s fault! He honestly tried to not actually think about it. He really wished that his father’s ghost had never mentioned it… Luke was not prepared to explain this to his nephew. Luke hadn’t even mentioned it to Leia. Why had he said anything? Now Han was probably going to find out and the bewildered teasing would never stop. “Just leave it blank.” Luke cringed when Ben actually started writing ‘the Force’ as his great-grandfather.

“How do I add Grandpa Organa?” Ben eventually asked. Luke suddenly took a deep breath in relief.

“You know what? Why don’t you just do the Organas instead? You can find their entire genealogy around somewhere. I think you’re mother even has a book…?” Luke smiled awkwardly and Ben sighed.

“I guess that’d be easier.” His nephew looked at the Skywalker growth he’d written down, “Grandfather Vader does sound cool though.”

“Father was certainly interesting.” Luke nodded, trying really hard not to say something that would annoy Leia.

“I would have liked to meet him.” Suddenly, Ben’s frown became an impish grin. “What if I put Dad down as the Force?”

Luke laughed. He couldn’t help but picture his best friend as the Force. The Force would be a lot more sarcastic if that were true. It was also stranger then he was able to handle.

“How about you get that done and then we can try meditating together? Your focus has been getting better.”

“Sure, Uncle Luke.” Ben’s voice became clipped with a negative amount of enthusiasm. Oh Force, when had Luke become the boring old guy?

With a snort, Luke’s eyes widened as he was unable to stop the thought. Oh Grandfather, why was his family so complicated?

…

Ben’s teacher was more than a little surprised to see not only a long, stretching back for generations upon generations, tree of Alderaanian royalty but also Darth Vader and the Force on a family tree. She then looked back at Ben Chewbacca Solo’s name and sighed. She marked the assignment complete and moved on. After all, she had more to do with her life than think about whether or not that particular student was joking.

…

Ben learned so much growing up that Snoke barely had anymore to teach him.


	2. Application and Analysis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has some new points of view to consider, Leia is starting the Resistance, Luke wonders if he could find the first Jedi temple, and Han has a slumber party

No one had ever threatened Ben before. He’d gotten some bad glares before and heard some unfriendly thoughts, but Ben himself hadn’t been in danger. With his family he’d always assumed that he was safe.

Unfortunately, it was because of his family that he was in this situation to begin with.

The First Order were nothing if not proficient at kidnapping children.

…

Ben glowered at the tall figure in front of him. Ben wasn’t sure what exactly he was, but he wasn’t human. Pale and scary, he stared at him.

“I am Supreme Leader Snoke.” He gave what could pass as a smile, “And I’ve gone through a lot of trouble to talk to you, young one.”  
“My mom’s gonna kill you.” Ben spat, “She, my dad, and my uncles are tracking this ship right now and their gonna catch you.”

“Because you’re so weak that you can’t take care of yourself?” Snoke laughed at him, “How… pathetic.”

Ben clenched his fists. He was trying to stop trembling. He could handle this. Somehow.

“I’m not pathetic. You’ll see.”

“I see right now. You’re weak, youngling. Weak and pathetic. But I offer you you power.” Snoke closed one fist, “You would be foolish not to take it.”

“I want nothing from you.” Ben growled. “How stupid do you think I am.” What kind of power could this freak offer him anyways? Ben was learning to be a Jedi, he had the Force. He knew of no greater power.

Snoke paused and seemed to inspect his nails. He shrugged.

“I thought you were wiser than those you call family. I thought that you could see the greater purpose.”

Ben hated the man’s condescending tone. Ben wasn’t stupid. He knew he wasn’t stupid. He had heard the thoughts of stupid people. He knew the blithering and chittering. It annoyed him whenever he went to crowded places. True stupidity was the thoughts that couldn’t be understood.

He wanted to know what Snoke was getting at. Greater purpose? That sounded important. Maybe if Ben could find out the man’s motives then he could stop him better.

“What do you mean?” His curiosity got the better of him.

“I thought that you could listen to reason.”

Ben narrowed his eyes, he was being more roundabout than Uncle Luke when he was talking about Jedi stuff. That was ok, Ben would get it out of him.

“Then tell me.” Ben demanded, “If you have reason, then tell me.”

“Do you promise to listen, young one?” Snoke tilted his head, “You’d be a fool to stop me just because it’s different than the prattling of your precious parents.”

“Whatever, I promise.” Ben said solemnly. He wondered what he’d gotten himself into because he was really starting to worry his parents wouldn’t approve. A small taste of excitement raced through him, cutting through the fear.

Maybe he could get some information that would be valuable for Mom. After all, it didn’t seem like Snoke was actually going to hurt him. For once, Ben was the important person on a mission. Yes. He could do these things. He wasn’t useless.  
“The New Republic is corrupt system that needs to be brought down for their crimes against the galaxy.”

“What?” Ben twitched backwards. That was his home Snoke was talking about.

“Do promises mean nothing to you as well?” Snoke growled and Ben took a step backward. “Fool. The New Republic is nothing but lawless chaos.”

Ben very much wanted to argue but stayed silent. He’d be the first to admit that the New Republic wasn’t perfect. That was what Mother worked so hard on every day. Mother had spent more than his entire lifetime to make sure the government ran properly. That didn’t mean it was lawless chaos!

“I could talk about how many people die for the New Republic, but you already know that. You don’t care about them. After all, if you had any regard for life whatsoever then you would have done something about them. I could give you a history lesson as too how the galaxy used to be united under a single banner, but you know all about that since it was your family who changed that. I could talk about bureaucrats but you're all set up to become one of those idiots, are you not?

“No, I do not think I can say anything. You are still not listening.”

“Yes I am!” Ben snapped immediately. A childish whine crept into his voice.

“No.” Snoke said flatly, ‘You are not.’

Ben shuddered as the Force fluctuated around him. The was a… darkness? He’d never felt anything like it. It was coming from Snoke. The Force around him was ugly in a way Ben couldn’t rightly describe.

‘Listen.’ Snoke commanded.

Ben continued to feel out with the Force. How could he have missed this around Snoke? He almost reacted his focus in utter revulsion. It’d couldn’t be sticky. That must just be his imagination, right? Ben felt strangely dirty, as if he was close to something diseased.

Any excitement from before was gone. If anything was scary, it was this. It just wasn’t right. He wanted to go back to the light but he had promised that he’d listen.

He thought that he would hear thoughts but there was no words. As he got deeper into the Force presence the initial wrongness subsided and it merely felt like power. There were loud notes that he thought were emotions but he couldn’t make them out. It was too much. He was drowning.

With a gasp, he called his awareness out of there. He wanted to run. He needed to get away from it.

Snoke was surprised by his reaction. The leader of the First Order shifted position and looked slightly less monstrous.

“You don’t hear the call, do you?”

“That’s the Dark Side, isn’t it? You’re a Sith!”

“Don’t shrink from the Dark Side, youngling.” Snoke said slowly. He paused and regarded Ben carefully. “This is how much I care about bringing order to the galaxy.” Snoke nodded.

“You turned yourself into that for the galaxy?” Ben shuddered. “Why?”

“You should know that the right path is never easy. Because I’m willing to do anything for the betterment of the galaxy. Are you?”

…

Leia was going to freaking kill someone.

She’d woken up in the middle of the night knowing something was wrong. Han was a half step behind her and Ben was nowhere to be found.

When she scoured his empty bedroom, her heart beating faster than it ever had before, she felt strangely numb. It was almost a clinical detachment. The blankets were on the floor in a crumpled twist. One of Ben’s old toys was crushed, the army man’s arm a foot away from the cracked torso. She remembered the birthday where he’d gotten it. It had been a present from Lando.

Han was cursing the air blue but Leia remained silent. She wasn’t quite sure what to say. Or, rather, she didn’t know what would happen if she did open her mouth. Perhaps it would make it real if she verbally acknowledged that her baby had been taken when she was asleep only a few rooms away. He was gone and she was a failure. Maybe it was that curses weren’t enough for her. There where no words for what she felt. Nothing could drown out the buzzing of the Force.

She needed a plan. That was apparent.

She needed her son.

She looked at her husband and he went quiet. She took a deep breath and wondered, just wondered. The Force was so loud now and she needed to decide if it could help her. Was it offering her the power she needed or was it betraying her too?

She closed her eyes and focused on what was around her and in her. The emotions she’d detached herself from surged. She took the time to identify them. Then she looked at the Force, really examined it. She was forced to admit that giving into her emotions wouldn’t actually her her. The Dark Side wouldn’t help Ben.

It was a good thing that she was more than just a Force user, now wasn’t it?

…

Ben was left alone again. He mulled over everything that the Snowcone guy had said. It wasn’t logical. He knew that the New Republic was doing good. The First Order had freaking kidnapped him, they certainly weren’t his friends. But Snoke’s dedication to his cause was shaking something loose in Ben.

He growled and mussed his hair aggressively. The Dark Side really unsettled him. He had never really come into contact with it before. It had always been an abstract warning from Uncle Luke, to not give into anger. Ben had never really understood before.

To be honest, he still didn’t. That power just felt wrong. It wasn’t like how the Light Side, the Force he knew from every day of his life, called to him. The Darkness was unnatural.

The room he was kept in was mostly dark, some shiny new ship interior. He’d searched the room before for any control panels that could let him control the ship earlier, but unfortunately the First Order had been too smart to stick him in with anything other than sleek metallic walls. If the ship had been older then Ben would have searched more for any smugglers holds. It was only out of habit that he had knocked on the walls at all.

His token escape attempt foiled, he was free to brood. It was a good thing that Ben was comfortable with being quiet and with only his thoughts for entertainment. He knew quite a few kids from school who would go crazy from sitting alone. He was different, always had been. The only place he fit in was with his family, they were the same. But… now Snoke claimed that Ben was different from them as well. Not just different. Better. Able to change things for the best.

Ben huffed and tried to just ignore it all. Snoke was his enemy. That should be the end of it.

He sensed someone coming. The vibrations of footfall made the floor tremble and the door opened. Ben turned his head and saw a teenager a few years older than him in a uniform. The red head’s face was pinched, looking like he’d just smelled something awful. Ben became concerned that it could be a tray of food he carried.

“Here are your rations.” He sniffed as he gracefully and very deliberately dropped the tray to the floor. Ben could make out his name when he bent down, Hux.

Ben jumped to his feet in a confused sort of outrage, “You could have spilled something!”

“But I didn’t,” Hux frowned but a corner of his lips raised, “Prisoner. What do you care?”

What did Ben care? This wasn’t a pleasure cruise. But… but!

With a dark satisfaction he realized that this Hux wasn’t highly ranked. Not yet. He was too young. Ben felt confident that if he really tried, Ben could probably beat up this guy. Despite Hux’s height he was kind of a twig. Of course Ben couldn’t make it passed the guards at the door so it wouldn’t have served any purpose but that wasn’t the point.

He didn’t put it into words. There wasn’t even thought put into it. Ben was going to make this guys time a nightmare.

“Do you even know who I am?”

“I don’t care who you’re mommy is, brat.” Hux spat, “You’re all just New Republic trash to me. And guess what? Mommy can’t protect you here.”

Ben was planning on acting whatever he said, but now he had an excuse. In fact, he was going to make it even worse. No one disrespected his mother.

The contents of his dinner tray started flying at Hux. The red head only had time to gape before being covered in mystery mash and a brown sticky sauce. He almost looked pathetic as his combed back hair was full of gunk and his freshly pressed uniform was irreversibly stained. Almost. The utter fury in his light eyes promised a fight.

“I don’t need anyone’s protection.” Ben gloated, “And, I’m not the trash here.”

“Oh, you are trash.” Hux promised as he turned on heel. Ben got the feeling that he was trying not to strangle him at the moment. “The sooner we throw you out, the better.” He left. Hux hated him.

Ben growled and managed to chuck the tray at him before the cell doors closed. See, he wasn’t powerless. He’d had more control than the other guy.

Maybe Snoke was right- Ben was different from his family. He couldn’t imagine his father throwing food at some First Order minion. No, Dad probably could have talked his way out and left everything to luck. That made Ben so mad. How could anyone leave anything so inexact? So up to chance? No, Ben was able to take control of situations. He could see that now.

Why hadn’t Mom come for him yet?  
  
…

The Falcon was on it’s way. Now Han felt like he could actually breathe. Oh, he still felt like shooting people but it was better now that he was actually doing something. Leia had gone through her New Republic contacts and had luckily been able to track which ship that had taken their son. It was a new model, very expensive, and Han had been able to use his own contacts to find where it had gone. It was nice to be important somewhere.

He was reminded of when they were all back in the Rebellion. Even after all these years they still had the same rhythm. He and Chewie were flying the Falcon, Leia was working on the plan, and Luke was being Luke. They’d picked Luke up from his Jedi Academy since it was on the way, and ever since he’d gotten on board he’d go from meditating and using his Jedi not-so-hokey Force magic to look for Ben, to asking Leia about the plan, to checking on the ship.

If Ben had been there then it would have felt like home.

Maybe after they rescued him they should all go on a vacation. He’d pretend that Ben actually cared about flying the Falcon and teach him some tricks that Leia would frown at. He’d pull Luke out of his Force and remind him that he was still a kid. Or, at least to Han he’d always be a kid, it was bizarre to remember that everyone was getting older. Han would show Leia that the New Republic wasn’t going to collapse if she took a break. And of course flying with Chewie was always the dream. The furball actually had sense.

…

Ben glowered at Snoke. This latest chat was more infuriating than any of the others. He really just wanted to plunge a lightsaber into the Snowcone’s stupid face.

“Oh yes, your illustrious Uncle.” Snoke grimaced. He waved his hand dismissively. “You will have problems with his new Jedi Order.”

“Oh? Will I?” That was assuming a lot. Ben had always wanted to be a Jedi. Then again, he did know that Uncle Luke didn’t know everything about the Force. Ben had always known that his uncle had self-taught himself a lot, in fact he’d admired that, but Snoke provided another point of comparison. While his uncle recommended meditation and was always vague about things, Snoke told him things about the Dark Side just offhand. Ben was learning more about the Force from someone who wasn’t even trying to teach him.

“Your mother never became a Jedi. Did you ever wonder why?”

“She was too busy.” Ben had asked her before, “The New Republic needed a leader more than another Jedi.”

“Jedi don’t love.” Snoke hissed, stepping closer to Ben.

“That’s not true!” Ben protested. That such a lie. Uncle Luke loved him! And his uncle also loved his sister. Uncle Luke was one of the kindest, most loving people that he knew.

“Skywalker is attempting to reinstate a corrupt order who brought themselves down with their own mistakes. Think about your history classes. There were thousands of Jedi. How else could they all be brought low from one Sith Lord if they weren’t rotting for centuries?”

“Well, Uncle Luke’s doing it better.” Ben argued. He’d met the Jedi his uncle was trained. They were all nice people.

“Skywalker is blind. He relies on the tales of ghosts and ignores necessary progress.” Snoke coughed a partial chuckle, “Skywalker in that respect lacks the vision of his father.”

“Darth Vader?” Ben took a deep breath. What would a Dark Side user have to say about his grandfather? He was always exciting to hear about. Mom never said a word and Uncle Luke was unfortunately cagey about him. Dad would curse Vader out which was always fun. But the rest of the galaxy still seemed terrified of the man long dead.

Snoke sent an almost approving glance at Ben. He looked entirely too smug. “Yes, Darth Vader. Perhaps the only one of your family with any drive. Isn’t it funny how his children strive to undo all his progress?” Ben didn’t even have to ask before he continued. “Your mother tore down the stability of the Empire and Skywalker is building back the Jedi Order. It is only to be expected when children are raised incorrectly.”

Ben bristled. He noticed that he was doing that a lot. Snoke should stop criticizing Mom.

“You are a hypocrite.” Snoke laughed at him.

“Where did that even come from? Or has the Dark Side rotted your brains as well as your face?” Ben raised an eyebrow. He wondered if he looked like his mom right them.

Then he couldn’t breathe.

Even as Ben was lifted off the ground, his feet left to dangle uselessly, Snoke seemed to get taller.

“You will not speak that way to me.” Snoke’s wrist shook as he tightened the clamping gesture.

Ben would talk to anyone as he pleased. He’d call anyone a nerfherder if he wanted. He’d mock anyone who deserves it. He never backed down.

He choked out a vaguely affirmative noise and was tossed to the ground. The corrupted Force retreated as he sputtered on his knees. His neck still felt like phantom fingers gripped him and he massaged it as if to prove that nothing was actually there.

“You are a hypocrite, and a fool.” Snoke’s voice echoed throughout the chamber. “You will never do that again.”

Ben nodded agreement. He tried to remind himself that he could actually breath now.

“Perhaps it is not your fault. Of course you are weak. That is only to be expected.”

Ben wasn’t even listening anymore. Snoke wasn’t going to stand for that. The Force started holding him in place and Ben could do nothing but look at Snoke. The Darkness around him seemed to invade his mind. It hammered in pay attention.

“You seem to think that you belong with your parents. You think that there’s a right that parents have to keep there children. Then isn’t it,” Ben could feel the Darkness pulsate as if to provide emphasis, “Wrong that Darth Vader’s children were taken from him since before they were born and raised to kill him? At least in your simple view of things.”

Ben would have thought about how ironic this was to come from a kidnapper but he wasn’t actually managing to think at the moment. Words didn’t exist, let alone his normal defenses. Emotion enveloped him, it left him in panic.

Snoke seemed to realize that he was overdoing it and released Ben yet again. It felt so dismissive, as if Ben was the one lacking.

When Ben could finally think again, Snoke continued. “Organa and Skywalker did exactly what they were groomed to do. When you realize that then you’ll notice that they were always pawns. I’d be disappointed in you if you just as blindly followed the Jedi.”

“Because I so obviously care about your disappointment?” Ben drawled without a thought. Then he covered his neck.

“You will become my apprentice one day.” Snoke waved a hand grandly. “You will become mine when your precious uncle shows you the truth of the Jedi. You will see how the very order of the galaxy rests on destroying the New Republic.”

“Why do you want me?” Ben asked, “Why couldn’t you find someone who actually wants to become a Sith? There are other people with the Force.” I just want to go home!

Snoke twisted his features into a triumphant grin. “I know. What do you actually know about the First Order, youngling?”

“It came from a fragment of the Empire and serves the Dark Side.” Ben muttered.

“Indeed, it was for the Dark Side of the Force. Skywalker might have the beginnings of a Jedi Order but it is I with the army.” Snoke laughed, “He could never compete with me. He only takes my scraps.”

“You can’t mean-“ Ben thought back to all the Force signatures he’d sensed on the ship.

“Hardly anyone’s worth training.” Snoke loomed over him, “There all so weak. But I do not question the will of the Force.”

  
…

The rescue had been an organized mess. Lightsabers and blasters had lit the shiny First Order ship up like fireworks. Strangely, after the fight Luke had been a bit too easy. He wasn’t going to complain, not with Ben back with them and safe, but the ship had been running on a skeleton crew. Only the bare minimum personnel had been crewing the ship and they weren’t exactly surprised to have the Millennium Falcon board them.

Ben was asleep now, and his poor nephew looked like he needed. He didn’t appear to be physically hurt but the experience had been hard on him. He hadn’t said much beyond that he wanted Snoke dead and then had latched on to his parents.

Luke worried that they’d never get the full story of what happened. Ben was too much like his parents that way. Luke just hoped they’d get enough of it to help his nephew.

“Luke?”

The Jedi jumped, he hadn’t even noticed his sister. That was a distinct problem with meditation. Unless he was doing it wrong.

“What wrong?” Luke rose to his feet. Leia’s face was doing a deadly combination of assured doom and concern. Things tended to explode when she looked like that.

“I talked to the Council and the New Republic isn’t going after the First Order for this.”

“What?!” Luke let out a short huttese curse from childhood, “After all you’ve done for them? The First Order needs to be held accountable. We can’t just let them abduct any child they please.”

“It’s politics.” Leia ground out. Politics were her bread and butter so if she was disgusted with them then it was worse than Luke thought. “The New Republic is having enough trouble keeping itself together. We don’t have the resources for a full scale war right now. That’s why we didn’t take out the First Order when they were just another small fragment of the Empire.”

“Is that right?” Han strode in from the cockpit, “So the New Republic’s just going to let this slide.”

Leia huffed as she explained, “As long as the New Republic doesn’t fire on the First Order then the First Order won’t attack the New Republic. That stalemate’s kept the peace.”

“Oh, so as long as the peace is kept. That’s fine then.” Han said snidely.

“The New Republic has more than the Rebellion ever did.” Luke looked back to his sister. “Snoke’s just going to become an even bigger problem if we don’t take care of him.”

“I know.” Leia said sharply, “We should never have allowed him to get as powerful as he is. A few years ago we could have easily crushed him but we were too busy with preventing another civil war. The First Order has never been the first priority of the Republic.” The message was clear. She thought that the New Republic had made a terrible mistake. She thought that she had messed up.

“What do we do then?” Han shifted his weight, “Wait a few more years until Snoke declares himself the emperor?”

“We need to keep our son safe.” Leia said. Luke could feel the Force tremble at her words. “No matter what, I am not letting Snoke get close to him again.” Her fists clenched and Han moved closer to her as if to give her support. “I need to think something over.”

“Leia, what is it?”

She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “It’s a crazy idea, completely impractical…”

“We’re waiting, your worship.” Han gave her a look. Leia rolled her eyes and casually elbowed him. No one noticed that Ben stirred.

“Can’t have that, now can I?” Leia crossed her arms, “I’m thinking about leaving the New Republic.”

“Leia!” Luke protested. That was all she had worked for. Her whole life had gone into the New Republic. What else was there?

Han was similarly surprised but gave her the well, go on, Princess- I don’t have all day look.

“I always was a better general than an administrator,” Leia continued, “And I still have some contacts from the Rebels.”

“You’ve lost me.” Luke really hoped that Leia wasn’t suggesting a rebellion against the New Republic. He knew the last week had been hard on his sister and she was furious but that was going a bit far. He was frustrated at the New Republic as well, but dismantling them seemed a little to much. Of course, Luke wouldn’t try to stop her if she had decided that was the best course of action, not with how much their ungrateful selves had put Leia through over the years- even excluding this recent piece of crud. But… maybe he’d suggest a better way of taking them over than a rebellion. With how high ranked Leia was, it’d probably only take a week of unpleasantness for her to be truly leading things. Not that Luke actually wanted to dismantle another government but to be honest his sister really didn’t deserve to put up with them.

“I’m thinking of setting up a resistance to the First Order. The resistance would technically be unconnected to the New Republic so I wouldn’t be endangering all our citizens but that way we could actually fight the First Order before they get any bigger.”

Oh. That was why Leia usually made the plans. Luke decided not to mention his treasonous plot. It was probably un-Jedilike to take down a democracy.

“It be getting right back in the action.” Han didn’t disagree. He just watched his wife’s face.

“Some of us aren’t getting to old for it.” She shot back.

“Hey!”

Luke chuckled as their marital bliss continued. He should have known not to worry too much. As long as they were all together they could handle anything. They’d take on Snoke when they could. They’d protect Ben.

Luke was going to try to teach Ben some more self defense tactics. He’d try to stop by more often and teach him enough so that he’d be able to protect himself- just in case. As long as Ben was ok then their family would pull through things. He probably wasn’t old enough for a lightsaber yet, but maybe in a few years he could come to Luke’s small Jedi Order and they could build one together.

He’d heard something about an ancient Jedi temple. Maybe if he found it he could find something that even Snoke couldn’t contend with. He’d just have to keep an ear out and see what surfaced. Maybe he could teach Ben to be an even better Jedi than he had ever been.

…***...

 

  
There was something different. Han didn’t know what.

He looked around the dinner table. The food was normal. Nothing was burnt or poisoned or anything. It was tasty.  
He took another bite of his bantha-burger and looked at his wife. She was tired- setting up a whole resistance was taking a lot of work and would probably take a few years- but that was nothing new. She was still beautiful. Smiling brightly.

Then he looked at his son and wondered how it had taken him this long to notice.

“You changed you hair, Ben?” Han raised his eyebrows. His son’s normally dark hair was a few shades darker, more midnight than brown now.

“Yes, Dad.” Ben rolled his eyes. His mouth twisted into a grin. Oh, his son loved to show off. “I was wondering if you’d notice.”

“It’s not that different.” Han looked at Leia. Surely she’d agree with him. He should have known better.

“Your father just happens to be colorblind.” Leia betrayed him. She didn’t even try to hide her smirk. Her eyes twinkled as Ben broke out laughing. Han didn’t think his face was that entertaining.

“Do you like it?” Ben asked. Han had to smile at him. Ben’s tone suggested that he didn’t really care what Han thought but Han could tell it was complete baloney. It was in the set of his jaw, the way he bounce in his chair as one of his feet kicked gently. Knowing this, it wasn’t like Han could say he didn’t like it.

“I think it suits you.” Han nodded. “It’s nice to see you taking after me for once.”

“Huh?”

“Great hair,” Han explained. It was totally from his side of the family.

Ben cackled at that and Han felt slightly hurt. His hand automatically to his hair.

“Mom has you beat.” He gestured at Leia’s elaborate braided coil. “I’m sorry Dad, but you’re getting pretty scruffy looking.”

Han froze and looked at Leia. Words escaped him as to just how terrible this was. Ben had said some pretty unkind things over the years but this? This was completely Leia’s fault. “Scruffy?!”

Leia insincerely patted him lightly on his hand. He knew she didn’t understand just how much of a travesty this all was when she shared a look with their son. Poor Ben. He used to be so sweet before he’d been so unjustly corrupted.

“Well…” Han’s face twitched into multiple wounded expressions. “We can’t all be royal.”

“You know Dad,” Ben was not as sly as he thought he was, “Mom can help you dye your hair as well. Get rid of all the grey!”

“Now listen here, Ben,” Han stood up and pointed fiercely at his son. “My hair is perfectly fine and-“

“That’s enough, boys.” Leia interrupted. She smiled at Ben, “You know better than to pick on your father like that. He’s sensitive.”

“Sensitive?!”

“Oh, stop that. You know I’ve I’m going to insult you then I’d actually do it, lazerbrain. You’re looking entirely too pathetic.”

“Hey, hey- excuse me, Princess!”

Leia ignored him blithely, “See Ben? He’s entirely too sensitive. You need to remember that.”

“Yes, Mom.” Ben nodded. Han supposed it was nice to see him smiling. Maybe he could let the slight against his hair slide just this once. Maybe.

…

It isn’t a moment of logic. In fact, Ben’s been thinking too long. That’s what drives him to try it.

He was in his room, his door slammed shut, and he turned his music up as loud as he dares. His dad yelled at him again and Ben’s trying to forget. It’s never the words said that tear him apart, but those left unsaid. It just wasn’t fair. Ben was doing his best. It wasn’t his fault that he hadn’t turned in his history essay yet. He hadn’t had enough time to finish it. He couldn’t just fling words down like other people, he needed to research it and make sure it was perfect. He had to phrase it like he wanted it to be.

And yes, he had yelled at his teacher about it. Ben admitted that it probably wasn’t the best choice but how else could he make her understand? He’d seen his mother get her way by using sharp words before. If it worked on the Onderon ambassador, why wouldn’t it work on Ms. Kendle? Except Ben hadn’t had the amount of control he needed. But no one understood why he needed to finish the essay in his head before he wrote it down. Everyone just thought he was being needlessly contrary.

He tried not to think about it all. He needed to distract himself. He knew that Mom was going to be disappointed and that was not going to be fun. She’d bring logic into things and negotiate a compromise. Even worse, she’d be disappointed. Ben thought that she probably wondered how he couldn’t do these things himself. She probably thought that he was stupid or something, that he had no control.

With a growl, he got up from his bed and started pacing. He picked up the stress ball his dad had bought him years ago and started to throw it around. It was simple at first. He just thew it up and caught it. Then he started bouncing it off his walls or nudging it carefully with the Force. It was hard to use the Force when he was all wound up like this but like always it brought little bursts of peace.

He tossed it over the dresser, careful not to hit the few breakable objects he had, and-

“BEN! GET DOWNSTAIRS!”

He flinched. Did Dad really have to shout? He turned to glare at the door but then remembered the ball. He shifted his attention back and no! It was about ready to smash into the little bottle of Tatooine sand Uncle Luke had given him. He reached out with the Force instinctively freezing the ball with all the irritation he felt at his father and the fear for his sand.

He didn’t realize until he’d physically recovered the ball that he’d used the Dark Side.

Ben shuddered as he felt the now familiar sensation of the Dark. He couldn’t quite stop from looking out of the corner of his eye for Snoke. It was only a little Dark, more like one grain of sand to the rest of his light.

His heart pounded and he sat on his bed. What did it mean that he’d used the Dark Side? Yes, he’d been thinking about it recently. He’d been tempted to experiment with it, to see just how Snoke could bare to use it. But this? It wasn’t intentional. Not really.

He just panicked! That was all. He didn’t want to lose his uncle’s present. After all, the sand was precious- It was part of the planet that Darth Vader grew up on. It was something he treasured.

It was all Dad’s fault. If he hadn’t of yelled then he wouldn’t have used the Dark Side. Ben took a shaky breath. It wasn’t his fault. No. It was out of his control.

Except that made it worse. That made it scary. He had to be in control of himself.

He growled and sent that emotion into the ball. It flung out of his hand and smacked against his door like a meteorite hitting a planet. He grinned in triumph.

It didn’t feel any differently. The Dark Side was still like a sticky coating. It was still loud and chaotic. It was a wave of power that he didn’t understand.

But he could control it if he had too. That was something at least.

He shook again and was unable to bare the noise of the lingering Darkness anymore. He focused himself and used the Light to move the ball around everywhere the Dark had touched. He tried to burn out any remnants that lingered. But the Dark was inside him, it was still roaring in his ears. He could still make out it’s melody even as he composed a symphony of Light.

He heard his father’s footsteps and dropped the ball. By the time his father reached his room and opened his door, Ben was still sitting on his bed but holding his head in his hands.

“Ben, are you okay? I heard a crash.” Dad approached him. His thoughts lined up, saying nothing but concern for once.

“I-“ Ben hesitated, “I just don’t feel very good. I think I’m sick.” His parents could never find out about this. Uncle Luke either. He didn’t even know what they’d do, he’d be in so much trouble. They’d probably never stop yelling at him. He’d be grounded forever. He’d never get to be a Jedi and what if they gave him back to Snoke? He just used pure evil, no matter what Snoke had told him. He knew it was wrong.

His parents would probably rather have him become a Spice addict than a Sith Lord. In fact, even dealing Spice would get him in less trouble.

They could never know.

He just had to focus on hide hide hide. Dad would be easy to trick. He didn’t have the Force Sensitivity to be a problem. It probably would be a good idea to avoid Mom for a few days. It was so good that Uncle Luke wasn’t here. It was going to be hard enough to hide it from Mom. She could sniff out anything.

He groaned and his head slipped further down. His father’s thoughts became a concerned mess. It was good that Ben’s panic had made him sickly pale. He apparently looked pretty bad. His father put a hand on his forehead.

“Well, you don’t have a fever.” His father said awkwardly. He started fussing with his hair. He’d always been out of his element whenever Ben got sick. “Maybe you should rest or something? I could call a doctor? Take you to the hospital? I guess I’ll go get the Falcon-“

Ben didn’t let him finish his thought, “I think I just need to sleep. A doctor would just make it worse.”

“Worse. Got it.” He fidgeted backwards. Then he almost tripped on the stress ball. “Do you really have to leave everything on the floor, kid?” He almost sighed. Ben was surprised that it lacked any heat. “Do you need anything?”

Ben shook his head, then flinched like he had a headache and it had hurt. He could act after all. He wasn’t stupid.

For the first time his father looked suspicious but he kept moving towards the door, “If you’re sure then, Ben.”

“Yeeeah, Dad.” Ben sighed when he was finally gone and his door was safely closed.

He was going to have to be very careful. He couldn’t let anyone find out, ever.

But, if he’d already touched the Dark Side, then wasn’t the damage already done? He knew that he was never going to Fall to it- no, not even if it clung to him. He could still use the Light just fine and there was no way he’d ever abandon that side of the Force. The Dark Side wasn’t like Uncle Luke described. It wasn’t seductive at all. He could stop at any time. Maybe he was just that strong. Yes, that was it. He was stronger than the Dark Side.

He just needed to know more about it. He needed to know how it worked. He needed to know how Snoke could keep using it, and even more how he could defend himself against it. Ben stopped himself from shaking. He’d figure the Dark Side out and find out how to control it. He wasn’t just going to be scared of it. He was Ben Solo- the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, heroes of the New Republic. He couldn’t let himself be ruled by fear.

He wasn’t going to Fall. He could stop at any time.

That being said, his experimentation could wait until later. For now he wanted to imagine that he hadn’t just used the Dark Side and listen to the call of the Light. He wasn’t scared.

…

Leia wondered if she should just invest in a futon or some kind of rollout. She admitted that it was kind of entertaining how her brother kept twisting himself into strange positions to fit on her couch but it probably wasn’t very comfortable. Well, she was probably moving soon anyways. Her Resistance was almost ready to start mobilizing. As soon as she finished negotiated the issued of funding then she’d have to find a good planet for the base. She didn’t know how long that would take but something told her she didn’t really have to worry about replacing her couch until then. Luke didn’t stop by that often after all.

She brewed two cups of tea. She make sure to be quiet. Leia didn’t want to wake up her boys. Although, to be honest she wasn’t entirely sure how Han and Ben hadn’t woken up from Luke’s entrance. She could tell that Luke had tried to be quiet but… ‘tried’ was operative word.

When she had the tea ready she prodded Luke awake. It was better to get this out of the way sooner rather than later.

“Leia? What you doin’ere?” He slurred from his stupor. She shoved his mug under his nose.

“Since I’m apparently your psychologist now, I’m going to listen to what’s wrong this time.”

Luke pathetically tried to sit up. It took him a while to shift positions. Leia almost felt sorry for him. When he looked awake enough, Leia passed him his tea. She made sure he didn’t spill it when his shaking hands grabbed it.

“You shouldn’t just assume something’s wrong.”

“Luke,” she sat down on the caff table in front of him and set her tea down, “When is something not wrong with you?”

“Leia, that’s not nice.” Luke sniffed his tea.

“Fine. That was a little much.” Leia shrugged. What did he expect of her this early in the morning? It’s not like she was the nicest person ever when she wasn’t this tired either. Luke was the nice one. She was the one who got results. “But you’re on my couch again. That usually means that you ran away from Jedi school again.”

“I didn’t run away.” Luke argued. He took a careful sip of his tea. It was still apparently to hot to drink but he was definitely awake now. “I just called a short holiday. It’s Ertiera’s birthday tomorrow so I thought she should spend it with her family.”

Leia gave him a flat look. Luke looked away like Ben did when he didn’t want to keep talking. She could wait.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Leia.” He finally admitted. His mug shook slightly. “It’s getting to where I have nothing else to teach a few of my students. They’re not Jedi yet though, I know that much. And the ghosts won’t agree, when they actually show up. There’s so much that I never learned that I’m somehow supposed to pass on to the next generation.”

“It might just be time to let go.” Leia patted him, “Let some of them graduate. If you’ve taught all you know then that’s all you can do.”

“Not when I have the dead to pester me when I mess up.” Luke groaned and looked at his tea. Leia picked her own mug up.

“I thought Jedi didn’t believe in death?”

Luke gave her a look. She probably did deserve that.

Leia blew lightly on her tea. It was almost drinkable. She sighed and turned her attention back to her brother. “You can only do so much, Luke. It takes time to build an organization. I know how frustrating it can be to try to bring back the past. But you know what I’ve learned over the past few years? It’s never going to be the same as it was. You, and your personal haunting squadron, are going to have to accept that.”

Luke wouldn’t meet her eyes and took another sip of his tea. He didn’t jump back this time so Leia took a nice slurp of hers. It was a nice blend. She’d went through a lot of tea before she’d found something similar to what she’d grown up with. Even now it reminded her of Alderaan.

“Have you officially left the New Republic yet?” His voice was full of concern. He tentatively continued, “I know it must be harder on you than you say.”

“I’m not the one on the couch.” Leia raised an eyebrow. Luke laughed and scooted over. He patted the cushion beside him.

“Well sit down then.” His eyes gleamed like the winning dice throw of a good challenge. He was smirking.

Leia herself chuckled and moved to the couch. It was actually a lot more comfortable that the table. She settled herself comfortably and ignored Luke’s expectant look. She’d talk when she wanted to.

“It’s an easier decision than you think.” Leia took another sip of tea. “I raised the New Republic like it was a child. I fought for it, I helped to create it, and I’ve been with it every step of the way to make sure that it became the institution this galaxy needs. But, Luke? Ben is my son. I will do whatever I need to in order to keep him safe. I won’t allow Snoke to use him.”

Luke’s voice was low as he asked, “Has Ben talked anymore about what he went through?”

Leia shifted her position. She was careful not to spill her tea and set it down on the table. Her hands were clasped in her lap. “He still won’t talk about it. I’ve considered getting him a therapist but he absolutely throws a fit at the idea. He said he just needed time but I’m worried about him, Luke. Ben was starting to behave normally again but now he’s withdrawn again.”

“He hasn’t mentioned anything?” Luke gave her a sympathetic look.

“He’ll hint at things. Or sometime he’ll shout at Han. As far as we can tell, Snoke just talked to him, but I don’t believe that. Ben’s been having nightmares ever since, and I swear I can feel a shadow of the Dark Side. I don’t trust the Dark Side- not around Ben, not with what it’s done.” Leia didn’t specify their father. Even now she didn’t like to accept that the man who tortured her, helped destroy her planet, and had been the boogieman of the Empire was her blood. She wasn’t sure if she would ever forgive Darth Vader. She’d accept ‘Anakin Skywalker’ for Luke, but never Vader. She would never call a puppet her father.

Luke seemed to understand her anyways. Sometimes they didn’t need words.

“I don’t trust the Dark Side either.” He sighed, “That’s part of the problem with my students too. How can I defend them against it if I don’t know exactly what it is? Or how to resist it’s temptations? With Snoke growing in power, they’re going to come across it. I couldn’t stand it if any of them…” Luke shook his head and put down his tea. Leia leaned into him until he could get passed the unstated.

“And your ghosts aren’t any help?”

“As I said, they don’t agree on anything. My Order’s has attachments. Master Yoda has disapproved of that since the beginning and now he’s gotten so cryptic that I don’t have any idea what he wants me to do. Old Ben refuses to give me advice because his apprentice turned to the Dark Side. And Father…” He looked at Leia sympathetically, “He doesn’t actually show up a lot. Yoda and Old Ben don’t appear much either but Father rarely turns up. For all I know, he’s already passed on to the other side of the Force or whatever dead people usually do.”

“Has he… talked about it before?” Leia asked slowly. Of course, the man couldn’t be properly helpful. Dar- Anakin Skywalker just didn’t have the best track record when it came to Luke. She couldn’t help but look at his artificial hand. She was grateful for their father’s final sacrifice, for that she’d always owe him, but her father still owed them so much more than that.

She couldn’t imagine ever being about to treat Ben like Darth Vader had tormented Luke.

But surely Luke and Anakin had talked about why he’d turned. Luke had tried talking about it with her once actually. She’d waved it off then. She had wanted to know but at the same time she couldn’t let herself understand. She didn’t want to feel any sympathy for the monster.

“The Emperor had been manipulating him since he was a child.” Luke put his shoulders back and drew out his chin. His eyes wandered over to the stairs. “I don’t know everything but it had to do with our mother. She was pregnant with us and Father believed that she was going to die. in childbirth. He was desperate enough to do anything to prevent that.”

Leia felt almost cold to finally have the story. She snatched her tea and gulped it down. It was rather unprincesslike and Han would have teased her about it. Then she would have asked if they had anything stronger.

“Leia, it’s not our fault.” Luke tried to comfort her, “And even if Father hadn’t Fallen, the Emperor would have taken the Republic without him. And Ben told me that Mother didn’t actually die from childbirth. It’s in the past, Leia.”

That wasn’t what Leia was concerned with but she gave him a thin smile, as real as she could manage. Although, now that he mentioned it, how ironic it was that their birth had helped to cause the fall of the Republic and Jedi Order when they spent the rest of their lives trying to reverse it. But she couldn’t blame infants for a war, she was a mother. She knew who was really responsible. That wasn’t the problem.

No, she knew desperation.

Her mug was empty and she frowned at the injustice. She could see part of her reflection in the shine of bottom of the cup. There were her eyes, (not blue, not covered in a mask).

“We need need to get stop Snoke.” Leia said. She wasn’t quite ready to get up for another cup of tea yet. Maybe when Luke finished his? She yawned.

Luke tried to say something but he caught her yawn. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to have a serious conversation. She’d been prepared to help his with his Jedi school, not have this turned on information she’d never wanted to know.

She heard the stairs creak and there was her husband. He looked tired and grouchy and cute.

“What’s the party?” He squinted his eyes pathetically, “And when did Luke get here? Just because you have a key, kid, doesn’t meant that you just show up. Have you ever heard of holoing ahead? Jeez.”

“Luke needed some advice on teaching his class.” Leia explained.

“Morning.” Han said firmly. “Or rather late morning, y’know when people are actually supposed to be awake.”

“It’s almost a tradition at this point.” Leia giggled. Yeah, she was tired.

“Yeah?” Han gave Luke a look, “Well here’s my advice- teach ‘em to have some manners. Like not waking folks up when the sun isn’t up.”

“I didn’t mean to wake everyone up!” Luke protested. Leia was glad that he was almost done with his tea with the way he clumsily waved it around. She really didn’t want tea spilled on her.

“I’m sure you two can draw up a whole curriculum in the morning.” Han emphasized morning. Leia was a little amused that he’d actually gotten out of bed. He was so grumpy.

“I’ll be up in a few minutes.” Leia promised. Han shook his head and sat in his armchair.

“And that means a few hours, knowing you.”

“I can actually keep track of time, unlike some people.” She pushed out her jaw.

“Really?” He took a calculated glance at the clock, “Then why aren’t we asleep?”

She growled and Luke yawned. He put his tea on the table and stretched his arms.

“I guess it is a party.” He commented mildly, but there was a grin on his face that seemed to light up the dim room. She shoved him slightly.

“I guess we have different qualifications for a party.” Leia sniffed. Then she did a mixture of yawning and sighing. She probably ought to get up and make more tea, especially since Han was joining them but she really didn’t want to move.

“You called what happened on Hapes a party.” Han complained. “That wasn’t a party.”

“Oh I remember that,” Luke smirked. “Do you remember-“

…

In the morning, Ben tromped downstairs for breakfast. He took one look at the living room and blinked. Apparently his parents had a sleepover last night with Uncle Luke. And Uncle Luke was here. He turned around and decided to sleep in a little longer.

If his parents we’re still unconscious then they couldn’t drive him to school. That meant no school as long as he didn’t wake them up. He’d certainly take extra sleep. School was too early anyways.

…

Ben listened to his mother rant. The New Republic was so unfair to her. Couldn’t they see how much work she put into them? Why didn’t they appreciate her?

He knew that his mother cared about the New Republic. She’d tried to instill him with the same sense of duty to the people. He had power so he had a responsibility to the galaxy. She wanted him to build a bright future for everyone when he was older.

But now his mother was leaving the New Republic. If she could leave it then it meant that the New Republic wasn’t for the best. It meant that Snoke was right about them. It made Ben so mad at the government that he’d trusted because even when Mom had tried her best she still hadn’t been able to make the democracy work.

“Hopefully the Resistance won’t last long.” Mom was apparently done cursing the New Republic, “We should be able to bring down the First Order in a few years. Hopefully by then the Saccorian Faction hasn’t brought the whole system down.”

“It’ll be ok, Mom.” Ben said just because he thought he should.

But if the New Republic wasn’t right, then what was?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has gotten far longer than I thought it would! I honestly meant this to originally be a oneshot or a twoshot at the most but it just keeps growing. I've plotted everything out and, yeah it's going to take a third chapter. So sorry everyone. But I think this works better anyways, just organizationally. Thank you everyone for reading this! I really hope that everyone enjoys this chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as trying to puzzle out why our wonderful emo Kyle would go to the Dark Side- especially with how he was still drawn to the Light Side so much. I mean, Anakin acted like the Dark Side was drugs but all Kyle could do was angst about how the Light Side called to him. So I tried to figure out why he'd be on the Dark Side when it seemed that he believed that what he was doing was right. That connected me to Leia, and her standing up to whatever she felt was the right thing and... Yes. This got written.


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